Real stories: Being silent instead of talking about issues also impacted our financial situation
"When our first child arrived, Rohan and I decided that I would be a stay-at-home mum. It felt like the right thing to do and I was grateful that I wouldn’t have to eventually leave my baby with strangers. The first month went well but then the stress, anxiety and exhaustion took over. Rohan runs the family business which means he works long hours. Being at home alone with a new baby all day, was very isolating.
"Our relationship had hit a rocky patch even before I became pregnant and now it seemed like our baby was driving the wedge even deeper between us. Suddenly our different cultural backgrounds became a major source of conflict. We couldn’t see eye to eye on anything, whether it was how to raise a child, our finances or what we expected from our marriage.
"The one thing we both shared was an anxiety about the future. This eventually manifested into symptoms of depression. For many months, we both struggled in silence – desperate to fix things but with no idea how. Then one day when I was scrolling through social media, I saw an ad for Better Place Australia’s relationship counselling services. Before I could change my mind, I scheduled an appointment. Rohan wasn’t happy when he heard this. To him, counselling was like hanging dirty laundry in public. I managed to persuade him to try one session.
"With the psychologist’s support, I was able to open up for the first time about my feelings of fear and isolation. I think Rohan finally began to understand. It took a while for him to open up, but with the psychologist’s support, he was able to tell me about his stress over providing financially for our new family.
"We returned for another session during which the psychologist facilitated the process of direct and open communication with each other. We learnt to verbalise issues that affected us and discuss them with each other to find a mutually agreeable solution.
"The psychologist then referred us to a Better Place Australia financial counsellor (the parent company of Financial First Aid free financial counselling).They helped us work out our financial concerns. I also decided to have an individual counselling session to work on developing tools to manage my anxiety and stress.
"Slowly, my depression and feelings of isolation began to lift. I started enjoying bonding time with my baby and Rohan began coming home earlier so we could spend time together as a family. We kept practising the communication techniques we learnt and soon, we were better able to understand and support each other."
Financial First Aid free financial counselling
Financial First Aid free financial counselling and mediation services are available to people who have money troubles and live in one of the many government funded areas across Victoria. First step is to enquire online or request an appointment.
For more real stories about people with financial troubles and how Financial First Aid financial counsellors mediated for them, go to the Financial First Aid website home pageand scroll down to Real Stories.
